Selfish mummy – why I’m going to start putting myself first

So often, as mothers, we put everyone else’s needs before our own. It can leave us tired, worn down, ill and no good to anybody. So I’m making a conscious decision to be more selfish, make time for myself and put myself first (at least every once in a while!)

I’m currently sat at home, exhausted, having a quick cup of tea whilst Harry naps.  I have washing I need to sort out, dinner to prepare and work that needs doing – it can all wait.

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I was sent home from work last Friday because  I fainted.  If I’m honest I’d been feeling pretty rubbish all week but I ignored what my body had been screaming at me and carried on, increasing my workload instead of giving myself time to relax and recover.  I’ve since been to the doctors and hopefully I’ll be on the mend soon.

It’s been a busy and eventful few weeks with increased stress from all angles, all of which I have taken on with a smile and declared ‘Of course I can handle it, it’s fine.’  because that’s what we do as mums.  We prioritise everything above our own wants, needs and often above our own health.

As mums, I think many of us struggle to give ourselves permission to admit that we are poorly, to admit that we need a rest, to admit that we need help.  I knew last week that I wasn’t well but I made myself go to work.  I didn’t want to let anyone down.  It turns out, I caused much more hassle by making myself so ill that I collapsed.

Going forwards, I feel like this was the wake up call that I needed.  It’s ok to admit that I’m struggling, it’s ok to want to do something just for me, it’s ok to rest and recharge.  So I’m going to make a conscious effort to plan some self care into my week and plan to do things that aren’t productive but make me happy and calm.

These are the things that I am going to try and do more, at least one thing a week, just for me.  They are things that are for my benefit and no one else’s because I’ve realised that if I don’t look after myself I wont be at my best to look after my family, to perform well at work and to achieve the things I want to with my blog.  I’m no use to anyone broken so by looking after myself more, I hope I will be more useful to those around me.

I also want Harry to grow up to know that he needs to take care of himself and know his worth.  I want him to see the good in himself and know that in order to help others he needs to also help and care for himself.

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So I’ve come up with a list of things that I can do to relax.  They probably sound boring but I’m hoping they will give me the energy I need to be everything I want to be for all the people I want to be it for:

Mummy self care time

  • Have a relaxing soak in the bath. (Glass of wine optional)

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  • Read a good book.  I used to love reading.  I can’t remember the last time I curled up with a good book, so I’m dusting off my Kindle, charging it up and making time to read again.  If anyone has any good book recommendations please let me know!
  • Sketch in my bullet journal or colour in my colouring book.

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  • Paint my nails.  I do this, once every blue moon, feel fabulous for a few days and then end up walking round with chipped paint on them for weeks because I don’t get round to redoing them.  I want to try and do them every week.  I also find that when I’m anxious or nervous I bite my nails.  They look a mess.  When I have painted them and they look nice I find that I bite them less.   Hopefully if my nails always look pretty I will stop biting them and they will grown better!

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  • Ok, so this wont happen every week but I’d like to make it happen at least once a month.  I want to go out with friends more.  Without Alistair, without Harry, just for a few hours.  I feel like I neglect them at times and I miss spending time chatting complete rubbish with them.

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I hope that by sharing this post and admitting that I struggle sometimes and crave some time just for me, it will remind other mothers that it is ok to feel this way and it is ok to prioritise yourself sometimes.  It’s not selfish, it doesn’t mean you are failing, it means that you are looking after the person who looks after everybody else.  It means you are making a conscious decision to acknowledge your worth and to keep yourself strong and happy.  That can only be a good thing and lets face it, it will benefit your whole family in the long run.

So make sure you take some time for yourself, even just a little, and take a few moments to acknowledge how hard you work and how amazing you are.

What do you like to do to relax?  I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments box below!

 

 

2 thoughts on “Selfish mummy – why I’m going to start putting myself first”

  1. I know exactly what you mean! I had started swimming again when baby A was 4 months old but what with starting back at work and major house diy going on I haven’t managed it in months. He’ll be one in the new year.

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